The Blessing of Commitment

“Hope deferred makes the heart sick, but a longing fulfilled is a tree of life."

~Proverbs 13:12~

This verse reminds me of dating my now husband. I was so sure of what I wanted, but so unsure of what he was thinking. I would easily become anxious when wondering if the growing attachment between us would just end in my brokenness.

So as much as he communicated with me and tried to assure me of his affections, it wasn’t until he asked for my hand in marriage that confidence sprung up in me and I could see the picture of the longing soon to be fulfilled!

As we covenanted before our Lord Jesus and our families to be united as one in marriage, my longing was fulfilled. My marriage with all of its ups and downs has been a “tree of life” to me; a blessing beyond my imaginings. I know it is because the Lord was leading and guiding our relationship from hello until this very moment as I write these words.

I am united with a man of integrity, a man of his word...he is tender with me, he bears with my many weaknesses, he encourages me, he puts aside his own desires that he might please me, and he loves me as Christ loves the church (“husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loves the church and gave himself up for her” Ephesians 5:25 NIV). My marriage is overflowing with blessing because of the character of my husband.

Our commitments to others, though they may not run as deeply as a marriage vow, are important. They can bless. When we are thoughtful of others and make efforts to come through for them, they feel loved. We can be a light in the lives of those around us and it can be as simple as being consistent and reliable...just being there.

“Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up.”

~Galatians 6:9~

Walk in the strength the Lord provides you through His Spirit that dwells in you. Listen to His promptings and walk forth in faith. Fill yourself up with the water of His Word (the scriptures) and you will overflow blessing to all those around you.

~Jaime Scharf

Breathing Integrity

“Therefore be imitators of God as beloved children…look carefully then how you walk, not as unwise but as wise.”

~Ephesians 5:1, 5(ESV)~

So, does it really matter? I mean, we are weak, human, and we forget. My family and friends love me, I know I have their forgiveness…

Well, these things may be true, but I was struck this morning by the thought that our ability to follow through on the things we commit to is one way we represent Christ to the world.  If I cannot do what I say I am going to do (in whatever setting...work, home, church, etc.) then how does that look to the rest of the world? My witness of Christ to those who do not believe is then marred.

Not only does it make those I commit to feel unloved, but it surely doesn’t motivate anyone to draw closer to Christ. And He is the most faithful and trustworthy (the only 100%) that there is in life! You cannot be more true than truth itself.

The following is a quote from Glenda Light, who commented on the post from yesterday. I thought it was so perfectly said that it needed to be included in today’s thoughts.

“I have often wondered if what these verses* are suggesting is that my life should be so characterized by integrity, my words so steeped in honesty, my actions so dependable and reliable that my 'yes' and my 'no' carry the weight and import of all that, making the oath unnecessary- that they in themselves, carry the force of an oath or vow, because those around me know that my yes means just that.” ~Glenda Light

*verses: James 5:12 and Matthew 5:33-37 (let your ‘yes’ be yes and ‘no’ be no)

May we all live lives that breathe integrity.

~Jaime Scharf

Making Vows

“If a man vows a vow to the LORD, or swears an oath to bind himself by a pledge, he shall not break his word. He shall do according to all that proceeds out of his mouth.”

~Numbers 30:2 (ESV)~

“When you make a vow to God, do not be late in paying it; for He takes no delight in fools. Pay what you vow. It is better that you should not vow than that you should vow and not pay.”

~Ecclesiastes 5:4,5 (NASB)~

We live in a culture that does not take commitment seriously and the church has not gone untouched from the culture. Divorce in the church is as rampant as divorce amongst those who do not hold to Christian values. The typical marriage vows end “until death do us part”, but half of marriages end long before the death of a spouse.

It is not my intention to pick on divorcees, but simply to point out an obvious example of how undervalued our word is in today’s culture.

I remember my mom scolding my sister and I when we would “swear to God” that we were telling the truth.

At the time, I understood we must be doing something wrong, but I don’t recall my mother ever explaining the reasons why we shouldn’t “swear to God” when we were trying to convince each other we were telling the truth. As a child I had little understanding of the holiness of God or the seriousness of making vows to Him.

Jesus even instructed his disciples not to make vows.

“Again, you have heard that the ancients were told ‘ you shall not make false vows, but shall fulfill your vows to the Lord.’ But I say to you, make no oath at all, either by heaven, for it is the throne of God, or by the earth, for it is the footstool of His feet, or by Jerusalem, for it is the city of the great kind. Nor shall you make an oath by your head, for you cannot make one hair white or black. But let your statement be ‘yes, yes’ or ‘no, no’; anything beyond these is of evil.”

~Matthew 5:33-37 (NASB)~

“The principle here is clear for Christians: do not make vows, either to the Lord or to one another. First, we are unable to know for sure whether we will be able to keep vows. The fact that we are prone to the errors in judgment which are part of our fallen nature means that we may make vows foolishly or out of immaturity. Further, we don’t know what the future will bring—only God does. We don’t know what will happen tomorrow (James 4:14), so to make a vow that we will do or not do something is foolish. God is the one in control, not us, and He “works all things together for good for those who love Him and are called according to His purpose” (Romans 8:28). Knowing this, we can see that it is unnecessary to make vows and that it indicates a lack of trust in Him. Finally, Jesus commands that our word be sufficient without making vows. When we say “yes” or “no,” that’s exactly what we should mean. Adding vows or oaths to our words opens us up to the influence of Satan whose desire is to trap us and compromise our Christian testimony.” (Excerpt from a Q&A on GotQuestions.org)

It is clear that the Lord expects us to be honest, to follow through, and to do as we say we will. It is one thing to start out with good intentions, but the reality of keeping our word can be difficult. That is why it is a good reminder to me to be careful what I commit to; to be realistic. And that is hard.

“But above all my brothers, do not swear either by heaven or by earth or by any other oath, but let your “yes” be yes and your “no” be no, so that you may not fall under condemnation.”

~James 5:12 (NASB)~

~Jaime Scharf

Week 8: Promise Without Forgetting

This week will be our last week looking at ways to show others love as we look at "promising without forgetting." I can easily think of many instances when I have promised to pray for people, do something, or make a phone call and just plain forgot about it. How does it make you and I feel when we have been forgotten by someone else? Crummy. Let us journey together to see what the Lord will speak into our individual lives this week. Thanks for reading along and commenting on how the Lord is moving in your own lives! There is much to rejoice over!

“But as God is faithful, our word to you is not yes and no.”

~2 Corinthians 1:18 (NASB)~

“I’ll call you!” “Yes, let’s get together!” “I’ll be praying for that…” “Sure, I will get that done.”

There are so many times I have said these things or things like it when in my own weakness, I forget to follow up on them. It is humbling to have to come back and admit my neglect, to ask for forgiveness. And then there are times I just shrink from interaction because I don’t want the discomfort of owning up to my failures.

There are practical things we can all do in order to help us remember the commitments we have made to others, though.

1. “Oh, be careful little tongue what you say…” This is a line taken from a children’s song, but so applicable to everyone. Do I make grandiose promises that I am unable to keep (or that might be difficult to keep)? I can make sure that the things I commit to doing are realistic for me and my schedule. It is better to not make a commitment than to commit and let down those relying on you.
2. Write things down. I try to write down my commitments as soon as possible after I make them. Whether it is as simple as an appointment with a dentist, or something more serious like promising to pray for someone. I keep a calendar with events on it and a journal for prayers. These two things help me keep my word. 
3. If I commit to praying for someone, it not only goes in a prayer journal, but I try to pray right when the request comes to me so I know I have at least prayed once. It is an immediate follow through.
4. Set an alarm or reminder. I do this particularly if I have a child in time-out. There is one of my children I would forget otherwise. My other child won’t let me forget he is in a time-out I also set reminders on my phone if I have a day full of commitments or errands. 

What are some things you do that help you remember to follow through on your commitments to others?

~Jaime Scharf

Keeping Score

Yesterday, we talked about forgiveness being an act of obedience and how God comes alongside us when we choose to take that step. Today, we’re going to go a step further. If you notice the title of this week, “It’s forgive….without punishing.”

So what does that really mean? The dictionary definition of the word “punish” is:

“To inflict a penalty or sanction on (someone) as retribution for an offense.”

For lack of a better explanation…it’s making someone pay for their offense. Ouch! I can honestly say I’ve been super guilty of this one. I may have “forgiven” someone, but I certainly didn’t forget, and how often have I claimed to have forgiven someone and gone forward in the relationship and then brought up the past again and waved it in their face the next time they have made a mistake or I have been hurt? How often in our marriages, have we forgiven our spouse of an offense, but then the next time they slip up, we bring up every time they have wounded us in that way going back to our dating days and what their mother said to us, and all the ways we’ve felt unsupported over the however many years of marriage, and…well, you get the point.

A desire for justice…for wrongs to be made right…it’s part of our human nature…it’s built into us. We want those who hurt others to pay some sort of penance…to have some sort of retribution for the things they have done. We often want them to feel and understand the hurt that we have experienced at their hands…we want to be heard and have our feelings validated…not just a blanket “I understand” and apology…we really want them to know what we have experienced in order for them to fully understand what they are apologizing for and the weight their actions or choices carried out in our lives. Right?

That begs the question…if we’re holding onto those offenses, aren’t we in a sense keeping score? And if we are, and we can quickly bring them up again at a moment’s notice, have we really forgiven them or have we just somewhat made amends until the next time we are wounded and then come at them with ammunition and a checklist of their indiscretions in tow?

So…here’s the thing. What if God did that with us? What if every time we made a mistake or grieved God’s heart with our choices or lack of obedience, He came to us with a clipboard and went down the list of all the ways we have disappointed Him and how yet again, we had screwed up and He had to add yet another thing to the list?

Fortunately, our God is not a God of condemnation (Romans 8:1). He is the perfect model of forgiveness and grace. He doesn’t keep score of our failures…He doesn’t keep a running tally of our mistakes to beat us over the head with each time we come to Him with yet another thing we must confess. But more than that…He meets us in those moments with His arms open wide…with unconditional love and He extends His favor to us instead of the wrath and judgment that we deserve (grace) (Romans 3:20-24).

Grace and forgiveness is not a one-time event in the lives of Christians. (Luke 17:3-4) They are both on-going and extended over and over and over again. And, just as we have experienced them freely and as a gift from our Heavenly Father, He tells us to then extend them freely and as the same gift to others (Luke 6:36). We can do that by praying for those that sin against us…that God will work in their hearts and lives and then choosing to leave that at the foot of the cross for HIM to judge and work out (Luke 6:37). We can try to understand where the other person is coming from and what events and wounds they may be experiencing or have experienced that have created their perspective/frame of reference. Sometimes that helps us to extend a little more patience and understanding…grace (Colossians 3:12-13).

When God forgives us, our sins (transgressions) are removed…forever…never to be brought up again…never to be used as ammunition against us or to punish us with…they have been paid for and are gone…forever. (Psalm 103:12) And as we choose to draw closer to Him and to walk in obedience and extend this to others, He will help us and give us the grace and love we need (Hebrews 4:16) that we may not have on our own. Again…forgiveness is not a feeling…it’s a choice, and it’s one that God calls us to make regardless of how we feel or the difficulty. But He will always make a way for us to do everything that He asks us to…even when we don’t see it or feel it (Isaiah 43:19.)

It's not easy...and I certainly don't have it all figured out.  It IS a process and one that I'm continually walking through these days.  But I know that God is trustworthy and that He wants the best for me...and He wouldn't ask me to do anything that would harm me.  Does he ask us to step out of our comfort zones and take a leap of faith?  Absolutely!!  And not once, when I have done that, have I ever been disappointed or regretted it!  If this is an area you're struggling in, know that you're not alone in it...know that God loves you...He sees you...and He has a plan for you that will blow your mind if you will trust Him and step out in faith and obedience.  He's waiting with His arms open wide!

~Kris Samovitz

A Decision to Obey

“Be alert. If you see your friend going wrong, correct him. If he responds, forgive him. Even if it’s personal against you and repeated seven times through the day, and seven times he says, ‘I’m sorry, I won’t do it again,’ forgive him.” 

~Luke 17:3-4

I have to admit…this is a really hard topic for me. As I was sitting here, trying to think of something profound that I might offer, I found myself getting more and more frustrated and drawing a blank. But, I did notice something. This particular passage of scripture doesn’t leave a lot of wiggle room…we can’t really get around it.

I think sometimes when we’re in the middle of a situation where we’ve been wounded and often times wounded multiple times by the same person/people, our response is to just walk away and be done. We know that we’re called to forgive, but sometimes it can just seem like too much. We can make a case for ourselves…I forgave them the first time and then they did it again, so I’m done with them. We hear statements like, “Fool me once, shame on you…fool me twice, shame on me.”

But the truth is that God has called us to forgive over and over…it’s a process that doesn’t stop. And when I think about how often I have wounded God and how many times He has forgiven me and that it will undoubtedly be a never-ending process, it causes me to pause.

Forgiveness doesn’t mean that we won’t be hurt again…it doesn’t mean that what has been done to us was okay…and it doesn’t mean we shouldn’t put safeguards in place to guard our hearts going forward.

But at the end of the day, the choice NOT to forgive can easily lead us down a road toward bitterness and more often than not, it ends up harming us far beyond the initial wound that we received.

Scripture is pretty clear…

“Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you.” 

~Ephesians 4:32

Forgiveness IS a choice…if it was simply a feeling, chances are a whole lot of the forgiveness that I have both received and extended probably wouldn’t have taken place, and I’m sure you could say the same thing. But then there are those times when we've been more deeply wounded...and we're so hurt that forgiveness is just beyond any feeling that we are capable of grasping. So then what?

I believe that there are times that God is waiting for our decision to step out in obedience…then He comes along beside us to teach us something about Himself or our ourselves and He begins to work in our hearts…eventually the feelings of forgiveness and grace come, but it’s about the act of obedience to what He is asking us to do. What I do know is that when we choose obedience, despite the obstacles or our feelings, God shows up every time and He always honors and blesses it. AND…when I have chosen not to obey, I have missed out on some blessings and opportunities that He had for me.

Why choose forgiveness? It’s a pretty simple answer…because God tells us we need to. And when we do, He will walk through that with us…we aren’t left on our own to navigate that path. He’ll love us through it and help us to work through all that troubles our hearts.

How have you seen God show up or honor an act of obedience, even if it was difficult to choose in the beginning? On the flip side, how have you seen unforgiveness or disobedience in general play out?

~Kris Samovitz

Week Seven: Forgive Without Punishing

Over the last several weeks, we’ve touched on a number of topics including the power of our words, choosing joy over complaint, and last week we talked about trust.  It struck me that regardless of who was leading each week, and what the topic was about, every single week, the point was made that as we spend more time with God, we grow and continue to develop in each of these areas…He begins to instill more of a desire to do things His way and we’re more tuned in to what He’s asking of us and how He wants to help us as we seek Him.  It’s an amazing privilege to be able to seek God out and spend time with Him and I love that He has a specific journey mapped out for each one of us and He’s ready and waiting for us to join Him on the path.

Forgiveness, like many of the other topics we have looked at, can be a challenging area in our lives.  But as we experience God’s forgiveness and grace in our lives and spend more and more time with Him, we can’t help but be changed and forgiveness does become easier.

Here’s what I know about forgiveness…

• It is a choice.  It’s a decision…not a feeling and it most certainly does not always come easily.
• Forgiveness results in freedom and joy...freedom from hurt, bitterness, anger…all that holds us captive and replaces it with His joy and love.
• God tells us to forgive and makes a way for us to do so.
• It is always in our best interest to choose to forgive.

We’re going to take a closer look at all of these things this week.  As we launch into this subject, what are your initial thoughts?  Are there any fears or anxieties you feel when the word forgiveness is mentioned?

Forgiveness is not always the easy choice, but we need to choose it out of obedience to our Father and when we do so, we will experience the amazing reward of true freedom and God will honor it.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oIbCpy0CQEo

~Kris Samovitz

What Does "Trusting God" Mean?

So, how are you doing this week ladies? Talking about trust can bring up a lot of anxiety for some of us...especially if we have been deeply wounded by people who were supposed to be safe in our lives. I wanted to share this with you today, while keeping in mind that we are all works in progress. As I mentioned yesterday, this is a process. The more we see God at work in our lives and experience Him delivering us safely to the other side of various circumstances and seasons, the more our trust will build and grow. At the same time, the more we experience and understand how much He truly loves us, the more likely we are to trust Him further and take steps to allow Him into those deeper parts of our hearts.

If this is an area that is especially challenging for you, don't get discouraged and don't give up! He IS worthy of our trust and we can safely expose our hearts to Him...and the amazing thing in my experience, is that He will take the time to walk slowly with us as we navigate what can be a scary road...He is patient and gracious and He doesn't tire out or give up on us. And as we learn to trust Him deeper, we can help others along the way and love on them and extend them grace and patience because of what He has extended to us. Love you my sisters and praying that each one of you has an amazing day and experiences His love and grace for you in a new way today!

"And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who[a] have been called according to his purpose."

~Romans 8:28

"Trust is not one of my strong suits. 

I could try to blame my struggle on not knowing enough trustworthy people, but I know the problem is rooted in me . . . in my desire to protect myself and in my fear of getting hurt or let down. I know that not trusting others is one of my defense mechanisms. Whenever I’m faced with an issue requiring trust, I skip right over it and jump into evaluation mode. I think to myself, “If I can gain a comprehensive knowledge of the problem, perhaps I’ll master it and escape trusting altogether.” (Sounds like a guy named Gideon, doesn’t it?)  

My issue with trust isn’t new; my attempts to grow in this area aren’t new either. I’ve studied the word trust thoroughly, but my studies didn’t make me feel much better about trusting. I discovered that trust is about having tremendous confidence in someone or something, depending on someone or something for help. A lovely thought but not very encouraging. I also learned that real trust assumes that the one whom we trust demonstrates a fortified character of honesty, fairness, truthfulness, justice, morality, ethics, and consistency. By this time, if you’re like me, you’re thinking, “There’s no way! No one and nothing is that trustworthy!”  

Here’s the conflict: Scripture says that there absolutely is someone that trustworthy. God’s Word calls us to trust in our heavenly Father without reservation, believing that He will sustain us and cause all things to work for our good (Romans 8:28).  

My defense mechanism of not trusting others completely backfired when it came to God. You see, there is no stronger defense than Him. He is the answer to my struggle with trust—when I follow His call to trust, I discover that His character is fortified with honesty, fairness, faithfulness, truthfulness, and justice. He is the ultimate example of one who is moral, ethical, and consistent. He is unfaltering. He is dependable. Each time I trust Him, this truth settles deeper in my heart and my struggle with trusting grows less. 

May I say today, I have learned that there is absolute freedom, joy, rest, and peace in trusting the sovereign, faithful Lord. I want you to know this freedom, joy, rest, and peace for yourself.  

If I can trust God, I bet you can do it too. Come on, take the leap!" 

~Colleen Swindoll Thompson, Insight For Living

http://www.insight.org/library/articles/special-needs/what-does-trusting-god.html

Falling For Him

(I encourage you to take a minute and watch this video before you read any farther this morning.  It's just a couple minutes long.)

"Trust Fall"

By Onetimeblind

http://skitguys.com/videos/item/trust-fall

This video is very humbling for me because it’s an accurate picture and representation of how I have trusted God over the years. He asks me to do something…I question whether or not He really knows what He’s doing…if He’s really got me. So He shows me again…reassures my heart of who He is and I obey. BUT…then He asks me to step into a deeper level of trust…perhaps one where I don’t see the potential outcome…where I have to blindly follow Him and truly TRUST Him…that He sees me and sees my circumstances…I have to trust that He KNOWS everything that is going on and all of the obstacles in the way…that He gets all of the adversity and that there is nothing hidden from His sight. I have to focus my eyes completely on Him and just fall, not knowing how He will catch me or how things will play out. THAT is trust and it goes against our human nature…our need for control and our desire for everything to be spelled out ahead of time.

“It was by faith that Abraham obeyed when God called him to leave home and go to another land that God would give him as his inheritance. He went without knowing where he was going. And even when he reached the land God promised him, he lived there by faith…”

~Hebrews 11:8

“To trust where we cannot trace God is the ultimate test of our willingness to follow Him. There are times in every believer's life when God requires him to step out into the unknown--to take a leap of faith--to go out on a limb. These occasions almost always defy our ability to reason and to make sense of it all.
Abraham faced a similar predicament when he was commanded by God to go to a foreign country leaving behind all the securities and familiarity his homeland had offered. Hebrews 11:8 records that "By faith Abraham . . . obeyed and went, even though he did not know where he was going." And later he was commended by God for His unswerving faith despite the overwhelming obstacles that he faced. Reverend Charles Inwood wrote that "When God is going to do something wonderful, he begins with a difficulty." . . . When he is going to do something miraculous, "He begins with an impossibility." God loves to defy odds, accomplish the impossible, operate in the supernatural, and amaze us with His creativity and power. We serve a big God---not one that is confined and limited to our understanding and our ability to figure out His ways. A God so awesome, and so infinitely capable of accomplishing His will in our lives, deserves our trust and obedience. If He could create the world in 6 short days, He can certainly figure out how to work out the details of your life and order your steps appropriately.” (http://www.knowjesus.com/Dev_trust.shtml)

So, where does this find you this morning? I have a pretty tough question to ask, and I encourage you to take some time to really think about it before you answer.

Are you trusting Him only with the things that you can predict the outcome of or are you truly choosing to TRUST Him with the things you cannot see…with the hard things that you cannot answer? Are you looking forward, focusing your eyes on Him, and falling backwards, trusting that He’s got you?

~Kris Samovitz

Who's Got You Covered?

A couple of you touched on the subject of dependence on God yesterday, which is awesome as it’s what we’re going to talk about today.

It seems like society in general wants us to be self-sufficient and dependent on no one but ourselves.  I don’t know about you, but left to my own devices, history has proven that I’m not that competent!  LOL  Don’t get me wrong…I’m all for taking personal responsibility and taking the initiative to be an independent and productive member of society.  But, I’d much rather do it according to God’s plan for my life than anything I can come up with on my own.

When I have done it on my own, it’s involved a lot more pain and discomfort than when I have depended on Him and what I have found along the way, is that He has made a provision for every obstacle or issue I have encountered or can come up with.

Check this out, just to name a few:  And btw, I know the list is long, but it’s also just scratching the surface, and that’s kind of the point.  We can trust and depend on Him for everything…He’s got it all covered.  There’s nothing we can throw at God that He can’t handle.  I know that’s not true about myself.  So, I guess the question this morning is who is more dependable?  I know that God’s never ever let me down or failed me.  I, on the other hand, have had more failures than I care to recount.

• Anxiety -  “Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.”  ~Philippians 4:6-7 (NIV) 

• Defeat – “We are hard pressed on every side, but not crushed; perplexed, but not in despair ...” ~2 Corinthians 4:8 (NIV)

• Doubt – “I tell you the truth, if you have faith as small as a mustard seed, you can say to this mountain, 'Move from here to there' and it will move. Nothing will be impossible for you.” ~Matthew 17:20 (NIV)

• Failure – “The godly may trip seven times, but they will get up again.”  ~Proverbs 24:16 (NLT)

• Fear – “For God has not given us a spirit of fear and timidity, but of power, love, and self-discipline.” ~2 Timothy 1:7 (NLT) 

• Grief – “Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil, for you are with me; your rod and your staff, they comfort me.” ~Psalm 23 (NIV)

• Impossibilities – “Jesus replied, ‘What is impossible with men is possible with God.’"  ~Luke 18:27 (NIV) 

• Inability – “And God is able to make all grace abound to you, so that in all things at all times, having all that you need, you will abound in every good work.” ~ 2 Corinthians 9:8(NIV)

• Inadequacy – “I can do everything through him who gives me strength.”  ~Philippians 4:13(NIV) 

• Lacking Direction – “Trust in the Lord with all your heart; do not depend on your own understanding. Seek his will in all you do, and he will show you which path to take.” ~Proverbs 3:5-6 (NLT) 

• Lacking Intelligence - “If any of you lacks wisdom, he should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to him.” ~James 1:5 (NIV)

• Lacking Wisdom – “It is because of him that you are in Christ Jesus, who has become for us wisdom from God—that is, our righteousness, holiness and redemption.” ~1 Corinthians 1:30 (NIV) 

• Loneliness – “... the LORD your God goes with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you.” ~Deuteronomy 31:6 (NIV) 

• Mourning – “Blessed are those who mourn, for they will be comforted.”  ~Matthew 5:4 (NIV)

• Rejection – “No power in the sky above or in the earth below—indeed, nothing in all creation will ever be able to separate us from the love of God that is revealed in Christ Jesus our Lord.”  ~Romans 8:39 (NIV)

• Sorrow – “I will turn their mourning into joy and will comfort them and give them joy for their sorrow.” ~Jeremiah 31:13 (NASB)

• Temptation – “No temptation has seized you except what is common to man. And God is faithful; he will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear. But when you are tempted, he will also provide a way out so that you can stand up under it.” ~1 Corinthians 10:13 (NIV) 

• Tiredness – “... but those who hope in the LORD will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint.” ~Isaiah 40:31 (NIV)

• Unforgiveness – “If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness.” ~1 John 1:9 (NIV) 

• Feeling Unloved – “See how very much our Father loves us, for he calls us his children, and that is what we are!” ~1 John 3:1 (NLT)

• Weakness – “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.”  ~2 Corinthians 12:9 (NIV)

• Weariness – “Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.” ~Matthew 11:28-30 (NIV)

• Worry – “Give all your worries and cares to God, for he cares about you.”  ~1 Peter 5:7(NLT) 

(List taken from http://christianity.about.com/od/prayersverses/qt/faithbibleverse.htm)

~Kris Samovitz

Week Six: Trust Without Wavering

“I want this year to be different.”    “This year I really mean it, God.”    “I just need peace in my life.”    “I’m going to set some goals.”    “I’m going to do things Your way.”

Sound familiar?

The beginning of a new year brings about a fresh start…a chance to make some changes and do things differently…a chance to again, recommit our hearts to God and do things His way. I mean, we know that God wants the best for us, right? Then why is it that we don’t seem to want the best for ourselves? We say we trust God, but then we often do our own thing. Anyone else relate?

I know that January for me, starts a list of all of the things I want to focus on in my walk with Him…all the ways that I want to do life better…to be a better wife…a better mom…a better friend…to grow in my walk with God…to do things the way He wants me to do them. But many times, I end up over-riding His plan and implementing my own, which most of the time takes me down a bumpy road and ends up pretty messy.

Why is that anyways? Why is it that even when I know His ways are higher and better, and I know He has a plan and my best interests at heart, I still end up relying on my own strength…on my own plans, over and over and over?

I believe that it’s because of one simple word…TRUST.

Sure, we can say that we trust God…I say it all the time and I actually believe I mean it…but, do our actions really reflect that? Do we really TRUST Him in the heat of the moment? In the daily grind? When we have to make big decisions with big ramifications? Or do we take things into our own hands?

“The word ‘trust’ in the Bible, literally means ‘a bold, confident, sure security or action based on that security.’ Trust is not exactly the same as faith, which is the gift of God (Ephesians 2:8-9). It’s what we do as a result of the faith we have been given…it’s believing in the promises of God in all circumstances, even in those where the evidence seems to be to the contrary.” ~Kenny Luck

That’s our topic for this week…Trusting without wavering. The Bible is pretty clear:

“Trust God from the bottom of your heart; don’t try to figure out everything on your own. Listen for God’s voice in everything you do, everywhere you go; He’s the one who will keep you on track. Don’t assume that you know it all. Run to God! Run from evil!” 

~ Proverbs 3:5-7

In my own life, I struggle with trust issues in general, let alone in my relationship with God, which is part of why I chose this topic to study. But, I do want to do things differently, and this year, my one and only “resolution” if you will, is to grow in the areas of trusting God and understanding who He is at a much deeper level. It's really the foundation of everything else. How much we trust God is reflected in how we live...how we handle situations and circumstances...how we function in relationships...and how vulnerable we are willing to be in our relationships not only with others, but most importantly with God.

So, where do you find yourself as far as trusting God on a scale of 1-10? When problems arise and chaos ensues, do you find that you are more likely to run to Him or to take things into your own hands? What about when life is calm? Do you depend more on yourself and “save” God for the big stuff or do you find it easier to trust Him when there aren't crises to deal with?

~Kris Samovitz

Wrapping Up Week 5

“But let us not lose heart in doing good; for in due time, if we do not faint, we shall reap.”

~Galatians 6:9 

So how was your week? Were you able to guard you mouth and tame your tongue? I know I struggled and so I have a jar with some money to give away. But it was a good exercise for me to pay attention to what was coming out of my mouth. I hope those of you that joined in the challenge were able to find some benefit in it.

Our precious Father, the One who loves us beyond all imaginings; the One who breathed the worlds into existence and holds them together with His Word soften our hearts to your will and direction for us. We are so weak and appreciate that you understand these things. Forgive us for wallowing in self-pity so often and complaining to others around us before we even seek your face. Help us to search out the causes for our complaint in light of You and Your truth; to take our cares and troubles to you first before seeking the counsel of men. We ask for wise counsel from godly people in our lives that we might be like iron sharpening iron. We praise you for your faithfulness to us and for the gift of a redeemed life through your Son Jesus. It is in His name that we ask these things, Amen.

For additional study on this subject I included a link to a study page online.

http://www.village.nobleford.ab.ca/community/Postings/ConqueringComplaining/index.html

And just for fun, I thought I’d post a video that was humorous to end our discussion with. I really like the taped balloon on the nose…

http://skitguys.com/blog/post/be-thankful-you-have-more-than-you-deserve

~Jaime Scharf

Silence Allows Listening

"Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen." 

~Ephesians 4:29 (NIV)

I found these words to be pertinent to what we have been delving into this week and thought I would share them.

"Silence should be the default mode of your tongue. This is your second-best strategy [prayer being first]. Practice self-discipline. Take captive every thought and make it obedient to Christ Jesus. Your mind can produce plenty of material for your tongue to execute at just the right moment. James 3:5 reads "So also the tongue is a small part of the body, and yet it boasts of great things. See how great a forest is set aflame by such a small fire!" When your tongue is silent your ears can listen. Listening will bring greater understanding." 

~Jeannie Gerhardt

The Chief Example

“He was oppressed, and he was afflicted, yet he opened not his mouth; like a lamb that is led to the slaughter, and like a sheep that before its shearers is silent, so he opened not his mouth.”

~Isaiah 53:7 (ESV)

This is the example Christ set forth for us. Did he ever complain? Did he ever deserve better than He received? Being the perfect, Holy One, He truly could lay claim to deserving all our praise and worship and adoration. And yet, during His time on earth, He was not esteemed.

“He was despised and rejected by men.” (Isaiah 53:3 ESV)

Isaiah chapter 53 is what is called a “messianic prophecy”. It simply means God gave a prophet something to say about the savior of not only the faithful of Israel, but all nations in the earth. This prophecy was spoken by Isaiah to Israel hundreds of years before Jesus was born and yet it describes in vivid detail things about the life of Jesus!

Oh my, how the perfect one suffered in many ways including the sufferings leading up to his crucifixion. I am at a loss for words, but the scriptures are full of words concerning His great love and sacrifice for us. Let us read together Isaiah 53 today and worship this King who was brought low for us.

"Who believes what we've heard and seen?  Who would have thought God’s saving power would look like this?  The servant grew up before God—a scrawny seedling, a scrubby plant in a parched field.   There was nothing attractive about him, nothing to cause us to take a second look.  He was looked down on and passed over, a man who suffered, who knew pain firsthand.  One look at him and people turned away.  We looked down on him, thought he was scum.  But the fact is, it was our pains he carried—our disfigurements, all the things wrong with us.  We thought he brought it on himself, that God was punishing him for his own failures.  But it was our sins that did that to him, that ripped and tore and crushed him—our sins!  He took the punishment, and that made us whole.  Through his bruises we get healed.  We’re all like sheep who've wandered off and gotten lost. We've all done our own thing, gone our own way.  And God has piled all our sins, everything we've done wrong, on him, on him.

He was beaten, he was tortured, but he didn't say a word.  Like a lamb taken to be slaughtered and like a sheep being sheared, he took it all in silence.  Justice miscarried, and he was led off—and did anyone really know what was happening?  He died without a thought for his own welfare, beaten bloody for the sins of my people.  They buried him with the wicked, threw him in a grave with a rich man, even though he’d never hurt a soul or said one word that wasn't true.  

Still, it’s what God had in mind all along, to crush him with pain.  The plan was that he give himself as an offering for sin so that he’d see life come from it—life, life, and more life.  And God’s plan will deeply prosper through him.

Out of that terrible travail of soul, he’ll see that it’s worth it and be glad he did it.  Through what he experienced, my righteous one, my servant, will make many “righteous ones,” as he himself carries the burden of their sins.  Therefore I’ll reward him extravagantly—the best of everything, the highest honors—

Because he looked death in the face and didn't flinch, because he embraced the company of the lowest.  He took on his own shoulders the sin of the many, he took up the cause of all the black sheep."

~Isaiah 53 (MSG)

~Jaime Scharf

The Seat of Complaining Lies in Lies

“With my voice I cry out to the LORD; with my voice I plead for mercy to the LORD.  I pour out my complaint before him; I tell my trouble before him.”

~Psalm 142:1-2

So where do you turn to when you are overwhelmed with life; the big and little things? I confess that my first thoughts are typically toward talking to someone about my problems...friends, husband, my blog or facebook first and then…God. All too often I express my frustrations verbally before thinking to go to my Father; the one who lovingly made me and knows me and has strength and power to overcome all of my obstacles.

Here are some words I really appreciate from a pastor named Steven Furtick on the subject of complaining:

“One of the biggest mistakes we can make in our effort to cut back on complaints is our effort to conceal them.  Don’t conceal your complaints. Instead, convert them into something constructive.If we simply try to reduce our complaints by biting our tongues and bottling our emotions, we’re bound to take out our frustration on the wrong person at the wrong time for the wrong thing. It always comes out sideways.  When you feel the urge to complain, remember:

• Your inclination to address an issue is not a sin. The sin of complaining happens when I miss the opportunity to act on something because I’m too busy griping about it.

• Maybe the most detrimental thing about complaining is that it paralyzes your ability to do something about the need you see. It reduces you to a victim. Stop whining that someone should do something about that. Instead, ask the Lord: what would you have me to do about that?

• Convert your complaint into something constructive. 

• The reality of grace invalidates any claim to complaint you may stake. 

• The basis of all complaining is one of the following two erroneous beliefs:  1)I deserve something good I didn’t get.  2) I don’t deserve something bad I did get.

Complaining takes your perspective out of the realm of the unmerited, unlimited, inexhaustible grace of Jesus. The spirit of complaining squares it’s shoulders and demands what it deserves.  I promise you – you don’t want what you really deserve.
God loves you. He wants to bless you. He has every intention of being good to you.  But anything short of eternal torment and separation from God in hell is a blessing. No matter how unfair your current situation may be, it’s a lot better than what you deserve. Never forget that.
The next time you’re tempted to complain, check your perspective. You should be in hell.  That ought to put your complaint in its place.” 

~S. Furtick

So once again, how is the challenge going? I know that I was tempted to put some undisclosed amount of dollars in my tin can today because I had a rough afternoon and it is all a blur to me now. I didn’t even think to track my complaining and I figure I must have done it! So I will put a few dollars in for good measure . Anyone else having trouble remembering to control their tongue?

~Jaime Scharf

The Heart of the Matter

“For out of the abundance of the heart his mouth speaks.”

~Luke 6:45 (NASB)

Perhaps we should have touched on this to begin with so forgive me for not getting to the heart of the matter to start off.  That’s it though isn't it? “Out of the abundance of the heart his mouth speaks.” What I am so filled up with cannot help but flow out of my mouth.

"We demolish arguments and every pretension that sets itself up against the knowledge of God, and we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ."

~2 Corinthians 10:5

So if I look at what pours out of my mouth it will tell me what I am filling up with. It would stand to reason that if I “took every thought captive in obedience to Christ” and thought upon things that are “just, pure and lovely” those wonderful things would come forth.

"And now, dear brothers and sisters, one final thing. Fix your thoughts on what is true, and honorable, and right, and pure, and lovely, and admirable. Think about things that are excellent and worthy of praise."

~Philippians 4:8

It isn't just a matter of clamping my lips shut against the complaints that fly to my thoughts so readily, it is really a matter of taking those thoughts captive and setting my mind “on things above, not on things of the earth”. There is much instruction in scripture in regards to this subject.

What has been helpful to me has been starting a list of things that I am grateful for and updating it every day. Many people have read Ann Voskamp’s book “One Thousand Gifts”, but if you haven’t had a chance I would highly recommend it. She cuts through to the heart of the matter. Looking at things around you as part of God’s grace and love to us.

Is there grace and love wrapped up in trials? Surely there is. Even in the toughest of times, there are ways in which the Lord cares so well for us and demonstrates His unending love. Sometimes it is simply a matter of purposing our minds to dig deep and find the blessing. In that we come to realize the blessing has always been there and is bigger than we ever imagined.

The website has been a little slow the past couple days so hopefully you won't have much trouble loading up the link. If you do you can always find the book on Amazon.com.  http://www.aholyexperience.com/

~Jaime Scharf

Enjoy. Really??

"Then the whole community of Israel set out from Elim and journeyed into the wilderness...the whole community of Israel complained about Moses and Aaron...Then the Lord said to Moses, “Look, I’m going to rain down food from heaven for you. Each day the people can go out and pick up as much food as they need for that day...Then Moses added, “The Lord will give you meat to eat in the evening and bread to satisfy you in the morning, for he has heard all your complaints against him."

~Exodus 16:1,2,4,8 (NLT)

Did anyone think much about the term “Enjoy” in the title of this week? I thought it strange to think about enjoying trials and difficulties. If I were the writer of this list, I would try to change the wording on it. I think “Joy without Complaint” might be more appropriate. I can’t think of anywhere in the Bible where it speaks of enjoying all things. It does say to rejoice in all things (1 Thessalonians 5:16).

You don’t see the Lord telling the people of Israel to enjoy the wilderness, but you do find the blessing of the Lord’s provision poured out for them in the wasteland. They had water, food, meat, shelter and clothing and shoes that never wore out! That is without even mentioning the fact he freed their masses from slavery and promised them a rich land. You also find ample evidence of the nation of Israel complaining in the midst of their troubles when they lost sight of Jehovah’s provision for them.

I am like that too. A couple years ago I was in a deep depression and having many physical troubles in the midst of those baby times. I had thousands upon thousands of blessings in my life, but I was consumed with my difficulty. I let it sink into every part of me and complaints were filling my vision.

I know too what it is to walk in difficulty and allow the Lord to carry me through those struggles. I experienced the grief over a dear relationship torn apart. There were many times of deep and searing pain, but by His grace I was full of joy! Joy amidst the difficulties and a view on my blessed savior, Jesus.

There are two ways we can walk in life, with Him or apart from Him. Where am I today?

How did the challenge go for the first day? Any failures or successes? Easier or harder than you thought?

~Jaime Scharf

Week Five: Enjoy Without Complaint

Philippians 2:14 (NASB) – “Do all things without grumbling or disputing”

So we are over half way through the Eight Ways to Love series which really centers on how our verbal and nonverbal cues communicate love to others. If you want the definitive method of evaluating the way you love people just refer to 1 Corinthians 13, the “love chapter”. When I read it it seems like a wall of expectation that towers over my abilities. And so it should. It is only by the Spirit of God that we can love.

The reason I chose this topic is because it is such a struggle for me. Complaints are so readily available and take no effort to search out. What does take effort is being thankful and grateful; being someone who looks through the eyes of Jesus at all things.

Is it important to stop complaining? Well, according to the rest of the passage in Philippians, it is. In fact, it says not to grumble or dispute things at all (“Do all things without”). Here is the reason it states for ceasing our complaint with one another, "so that you will prove yourselves to be blameless and innocent, children of God above reproach amidst a crooked and perverse generation, among whom you appear as lights in the world." (v. 15)

Here is the CHALLENGE:

Join me in attempting to take note of my complaining spirit by collecting $1 for every complaint this week. What would my week look like if I simply lived without voicing complaint? Would things change around me? What will my friendships look like? My relationships with my coworkers? My marriage? What does my home look like when I cease complaining about my children's behavior? Wow!

At the end of the week, take the dollars you have collected for your complaining mouth and donate them to a charity or someone in need.

~Jaime Scharf

The Power of Our Words

Words are powerful!

"The tongue has the power of life and death, and those who love it will eat its fruit." 

~Prov 18:21 

You can build someone up and tear someone down with your words. I hate hearing people say, "I'm a failure." No, you are more than a conqueror! There is a spiritual law here!

I tried my best to teach my children about words when they were little. My son, Ricky, was very impulsive and I never knew what would be coming out of his mouth! I can't tell you how many times that child quoted:

"Let the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart be acceptable in your sight, oh Lord, my strength and my redeemer." 

~Psalms 19:14

When my daughter, Katie, was 5, we were talking about the scripture that says whatever we ask in the name of Jesus would be ours. (John 15:7) I was having Bible study at my house for the kindergarten and first grade kids that went to the elementary school down the street. Parents, when you don't think they are listening....they are! Katie was throwing a fit one day at our house. We had tried time out and it didn't work, so I paddled her bottom! She turned around and with great authority told me, "Stop spanking me in the Name of Jesus!" My mom asked me, "Well what did you do?" I said, "Well, I stopped!"

The Bible tells us that the WORD of God is sharper than any two edged sword! Know the Word and you will know Jesus. I know that I have failed so many times by letting idle words come from my mouth. There are times when I wish I had a roll of tape to put over my mouth (and super glue for my teenagers)!

Jesus is called the "Word." In the Word, we find comfort, peace, encouragement, but more than all of these, we find LIFE!

~Laurie Roe

His Masterpiece

"For we are God’s masterpiece. He has created us anew in Christ Jesus, so we can do the good things he planned for us long ago."

~Ephesians 2:10 (NLT)

Have you ever noticed that women in general are often comparing themselves to one another? We often look at each others’ looks, marriages, children, lifestyles, roles in ministry, spiritual gifts, social circles, financial situations, personalities…wow…the list could go on and on. We sometimes look at another woman and have thoughts like “If only I could be more outgoing like…”; “If my husband was a spiritual leader in our home like…”; “If I had talents and abilities like…”; “I would be much more confident if I looked like…”

We could drive ourselves seriously insane by all of the “what ifs” and comparisons. But the truth is that each one of us was uniquely hand carved by the Almighty God. Each one of us is an original masterpiece that God created in His image with a specific purpose and plan in mind (Ephesians 2:10). He does not make mistakes and He does not make duplicates or back-ups.

But when we try to be something or someone other than ourselves, not only are we pretending, but we are messing with God’s perfect plan and design for us. When I thought about it that way, I was pretty convicted. I mean, who do I think I am to say I know better than God? Ouch! I realized that God created me just the way He did for a very specific purpose and there is no one else that can fill my role. If I try to alter who I am, not only am I dishonoring my Creator, I’m also cheating myself out of the journey and blessings that He has designed for me.

“I know what I’m doing. I have it all planned out—plans to take care of you, not abandon you, plans to give you the future you hope for.” 

~Jeremiah 29:11

It doesn’t mean that we arrive on this earth as total perfection. Each of us have a journey to take toward becoming more like Him, and like in yesterday’s video, He will chisel away the things that are not from Him and continue to shape and mold us to be more like Himself. But when we know that we have a purpose and we find acceptance and our identity in Christ instead of others, we’re able to share ourselves openly, as we are, knowing that we are a work in progress and none of us have it all together. We recognize that we’ve received the most amazing gift of grace (undeserved favor) and there is nothing that we can do or not do that will change God’s love for us.

I don’t know about you, but that takes a lot of pressure off when I realize that I AM measuring up…I’m being exactly who He wants me to be and my job on this earth is not to become what I think everyone else wants me to be or to pretend to be more than I am…it’s to pursue a walk with God that is so close that I begin to resemble Him more and more. What’s really cool about that, is that as we experience our own walk with Him more and more, we’re able to extend the same gift of grace to others instead of judgment or criticism, because we understand that they are also “works in progress” on the same journey.

I’m learning not to be impatient in the process and that God’s timing is perfect, even if I’m having to wait at times. And I’m being gently reminded to trust that His dreams for me are greater than any that I can come up with, so I’m learning to share myself, as is, and wait patiently for the next season of His blessing.

• How do you combat the temptation to compare yourself to others? 
• What scares you the most about sharing yourself with others “as is”?

~Kris Samovitz

God's Chisel

“Character is who we are…not who we pretend to be. It’s better to be shaped than to be fake.” ~Lecrae

When we come to the place where we believe that God truly loves us and wants the best for us, then trust begins to build. For myself anyways, it wasn't until I better understood God's love for me, that I began to let Him into those deep dark recesses of my heart where real hurt and my big wounds were residing. And as He began to chip away at all of the lies and replace them with things from Him, I began to heal...I had hope again. Sure, it was painful in the process, but it really was short lived, and even though it's a continual process, I would much rather be shaped and molded, than to live as a fake being, just trying to survive.

I hope you'll take a few minutes to watch this short video...I know some of you have seen it before, but it's powerful and worth a second look.

“God’s Chisel”

By, The Skit Guys

http://skitguys.com/videos/item/gods-chisel

~Kris Samovitz

The Truth

Over the last couple of days, we’ve talked about the lies we believe and how Satan orchestrates and tailors them to hit us in the most vulnerable places for the highest impact.  We’ve also talked about baggage and how it accumulates when we hold onto it and carry it around with us.

But how do we rid ourselves of these things?  How do we determine what are lies and what is truth? How do we put all the baggage down?  After all, it hurts…and our pain is real!  We often want someone to pay for the wounds we have experienced.  We want to live in the truth and in freedom, but it’s so hard to let some of these things go…especially if we’re not convinced that God really loves us as deeply as everyone tells us.

“The truth will set you free!”  Have you all heard that before?  It sounds good, that’s for sure, but I’m not convinced that it’s really accurate.  See, the truth is the truth…it’s pretty much black and white in most cases, but if we don’t know the truth or we don’t believe the truth, it really isn’t going to free us from much of anything.  I think the more accurate statement is, “The KNOWLEDGE of the truth will set you free.”  I don’t think we have a lot of hope for change or freedom, let alone success, if we get rid of the lies and baggage, but don’t replace them with something else.

John 8:32 says, “Then you will KNOW the truth and the truth will set you free.”

We have to KNOW the truth in order to be set free by it.  I said one of the lies that I believed was that I could never measure up or be good enough to deserve God’s love and grace…that I had failed so many times and had been such a disappointment, that He had probably given up on me. That’s the lie.  But the truth is the exact opposite.  I love this quote from Beth Moore:

“You are God’s chief creation, and you are here for His pleasure and glory.  God did not create us so that He could have the front-row seat at an ongoing saga of our follies and failures.  He created us because He delights in us!  He didn’t need us…He WANTED us!  The act was based on the pleasure of His will.  We were created to be His abundance – estimations of HIS value!  Of all the grandeur heaven could boast, God measures His riches by His children.  We are His wealth, the apple of His eye, created to be His treasure.”   

~Beth Moore, "A Woman's Heart, God's Dwelling Place"

Matthew 6:21 says, “Where your treasure is, there will your heart be also.”

That means that not only are we the apple of God’s eye and His treasure, but we are at the forefront of God’s heart!!  You are at the core of the Almighty’s heart and He is watching over you daily.  Think about all the scripture that talks about God’s love for us, His desire to be in relationship with us, and what He wants for us that is always in our best interest…that we would have life and live it abundantly!  (John 10:10)  Throughout the entire Bible, we see all the vast evidence of God’s love for each of us – and it’s unending and unfailing. Every page pours out this undeniable truth…the love God has for us is matched by no other love that the world has ever seen or ever will see!

Sisters, He loves you SO much!  He has not given up on me…or you!  His word tells us that He will never leave us nor forsake us. (Hebrews 13:5)  He sent His one and only Son to die so that we would have a way to be with Him for eternity (John 3:16).  If you will put your trust in Him, you will see a transformation in your life. His arms are outstretched! He is waiting to embrace you, longing to once and for all wipe away your tears, wanting to heal your wounds, and His heart’s desire is to set you free. If you are feeling isolated or abandoned and that you are totally on your own…if you are living from a place of shame and guilt…that is NOT from God.  Those are all lies that Satan wants you to believe because they keep you paralyzed and stuck.  The truth is that Jesus did not come to condemn you…He did not come to point the finger and make you feel worse about yourself than you already do.  Jesus came to save you. (John 3:17) He came so that you would have a full life beyond what you can even imagine! (John 10:10) He has plans for you.  He came to see you SET FREE!!!!!  He loves you so much and wants the absolute best for you. (Jeremiah 29:11) He wants to give you hope…a future…and He wants to wrap His big daddy arms around you, his princess, and make you feel secure, accepted, and loved.

So, my question is this…will you let Him?  Will you take some time this week to be in His presence and allow Him to love on you and speak truth to your heart? You don’t have to have the right words or go through some elaborate process. Just find a quiet place where you can sit and be still. Start by just telling Him that you need Him. Tell Him that you want to grow closer to Him and that you need His reassurance and that you want to hear His voice. If you feel awkward and don't know what to do...tell Him that. Then, sit back and just let Him speak words of love and truth into your heart. It might come in the form of one word that keeps coming to mind or a song…maybe it will be a verse in scripture…He talks to each of us differently. The first time I tried this, I couldn’t shut my own thoughts off and I felt very frustrated and like I couldn’t hear anything that was from Him. But as I continued to do it again and again, it became easier to dismiss my thoughts, and I started having certain scriptures come to mind. Later, when I would look them up, they were verses speaking about God’s love for His children, which at the time, was exactly what I needed to hear. Tomorrow we are going to start drawing some conclusions and coming full circle as we discover how to apply all of this to sharing without pretending.

As we wrap up today, would you consider sharing a couple of things?  What are some ways that you have felt God’s love for you in a real way? Do any of you have some stories or suggestions about how you spend quiet time with God? If so, would you be willing to share them with us? Sometimes, it’s less about wanting to spend time with God, and more about knowing how to go about it. What you share might be a huge encouragement to others that are struggling or give them an idea that might work well for them.

~Kris Samovitz

Baggage

How are you doing so far ladies? I know this is a hard subject to talk about for some. For some of us (myself included) we've become masterful artists at walling ourselves off and putting on the happy face when inside, we're feeling like our hearts have been broken into a millions pieces over and over again.

So, my question for you today is fairly brief, but it's an important one. What do you do with your hurt? When someone has wounded you, when you've believed one of Satan's lies...what do you do with it? Do you take it to Jesus, or do you carry it around in your heart as baggage?

I hope that you'll take a few minutes to watch this short video. It helped me to understand visually what I was doing with my hurt by carrying it around wherever I went, rather than leaving it at the Cross for Jesus to deal with.

“Baggage”

By, The Skit Guys

http://skitguys.com/videos/item/baggage-skit

~Kris Samovitz

The Lies We Believe

Yesterday, we talked about what it means to share without pretending and we identified a lack of understanding who God is and fear as two of the reasons we where social masks.  But, what is it specifically that causes us to “pretend” in the first place?  What causes us to feel the need to put on those socially acceptable masks?  I believe the overwhelming cause is that we buy into a whole lot of lies that we then tell ourselves over and over that create fear in our lives and hearts…fear of rejection…fear of failure…fear of abandonment…there are a lot of fears we could list.

“Most of our emotional struggles, relationship difficulties, and spiritual setbacks are caused by the lies we tell ourselves.  Every day, whether you realize it or not, you are most likely believing lies.  These lies, learned from parents, friends, society, and even the church, play like a broken record over and over in your mind, damaging your emotional health, relationships, and spiritual life.  Unless we identify our lies and replace them with the truth, a truly abundant life is impossible.”~ Dr. Chris Thurman

I learned very early on in childhood that how I performed and what I accomplished was directly associated with attention and praise, and ultimately, my value and worth.  I believed that I had to earn love and acceptance through what I did.  That, in many ways, set me up for the next lie to take hold…that since my value came from my performance, the approval and responses of others determined whether or not I was acceptable or measured up.  That led to a whole list of behaviors that were driven by the need to please and impress others.  I became very insecure and I didn’t believe that I was ever good enough (another lie), so I would work harder, try to make myself appear better or more important, and I became a master pretender in my relationships with everyone.  One lie fed into another lie, feeding more dysfunctional behaviors and sin, and ultimately plunging me into a pit of darkness, shame, looking for love in all the wrong places, and ultimately isolating myself from others.  What often happens is that our experience or environment creates a weakness or vulnerability, often due to the environment we were raised in or a traumatic experience.  Once that vulnerability is exposed, Satan grabs onto that foothold and begins to exploit it and beat us over the head with it.  It doesn’t take long before he can somewhat step back, because we have come to believe it about ourselves and we just take over beating ourselves up and it continues on in many cases, for years
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Often, we also transfer our earthly experiences onto our relationship with God.  Since I had come to believe that I was not good enough and that my value/worth was a direct reflection of my actions (which for many years was destructive and sinful) I was convinced that I had to earn God’s love, I would certainly never measure up to God’s expectations of me, and by no means did I deserve grace on any level.  Deep down, I was convinced that God was pretty mad and disappointed with me and while it had been engrained in my head that He loved me and would never leave me, at a heart level, I was pretty sure that He had given up…that He’d shook His head and washed His hands of me and that He was nowhere to be found.

Even years later after getting my life back on track, I continued to remain very guarded.  I was serving in leadership roles at my church, was a part of an active small group, and knew all the right things to say and do, but I still had major trust issues and kept those steel barricades in place around my fragile heart.  After all, if I didn’t give people access, then they really couldn’t hurt me right?

The problem is that in doing so, not only was I missing out on deep, meaningful relationships with other women, but I was also depriving myself of the greatest relationship I could ever have…with my Savior.  I didn’t invite Him into the dark recesses of my heart…I made sure those were locked and chained up and shoved as far down as I could.  But, I didn’t  realize the depth of the trust issues that I had with God and it had never even struck me that I didn’t believe He loved me.  I was living in a lot of denial…not because I was intentionally trying to avoid the truth, but because I had been living that way for as long as I could remember and I didn’t even know what I really felt anymore.  I was living in survival mode.

But as God often does, He was already working in my heart, preparing me for a journey that would change my life.  Through a series of difficult events over a period of about 3 years, God began to allow some circumstances and situations to occur that began to strip away the layers, one at a time.  A good friend of mine described it as peeling layers from an onion.  As those layers are stripped away, tears may fall, but they don’t last forever and as I began to emerge from one layer, He would start working on another one.  There was a purposeful order to the process as some things had to be dealt with before others could be approached.  I love how God perfectly orchestrates things in His perfect timing.  Certainly there was pain in the process, but He never allowed more than I could handle and as I went through each layer, a few things happened.

1. He began to identify the lies I had believed.
2. He began replacing them with His truth.
3. My trust in Him began to deepen with the successful removal of each layer.
4. He began bringing people into my life that walked through the journey with me.
5. All the while, He continued to shower me with reassurance and love and tons of grace.

Ladies, I don’t know where each of you are at as you read this today.  Each one of us has a story and just like that onion, we’re all in the process of having layers peeled away.  We’re all in different stages of that process and our timelines all vary.  What I do know is that each one of us has the same amazing God who has been pursuing us relentlessly since the day we were born.  He sees everything, He knows everything, and yet He still loves us with an unfailing love no matter how much we have tested Him.  He doesn’t keep score, we cannot wear Him out, and He has not given up on you or me.  While Satan comes to steal, kill, and destroy us, our Savior comes ready to do battle on our behalf in order to give us an abundant life and hope that we can’t even fathom! (John 10:10)  He wants to abolish the lies we have bought into and He wants to write His truth on the slates of our hearts.  Whether or not I’m good enough or ever measure up really isn’t even the question, because regardless, we can’t earn His love and HE is enough…for me…and for you…and if we are willing to discover His truth and replace all the lies we’ve believed with it, we can truly experience freedom and a life without pretending!  Hallelujah for that!!!!

As we wind down for today, I have some questions I’d like for you to think about.

• What are some of the lies that you have believed…about yourself?  About God? 

• Looking back, how have you seen God pursuing you over the years?

~Kris Samovitz