Showing Value to Others

"Fools have no interest in understanding; they only want to air their own opinions. Spouting off before listening to the facts is both shameful and foolish." 

~Proverbs 18:2,13 (NLT)

I'm sharing some wisdom from another source today that talks about communication and our culture.

“Show value to others – listen without interrupting”

By Joan Endicott, Idaho Press-Tribune 

“When any of us are sharing a story, thought or concern with another, we all feel frustrated when we are suddenly interrupted by another who seems to take over.
A common complaint customers have when rating a business is the feeling that 'nobody would really listen to them.' Even if someone started to listen, they were soon interrupted and never had the opportunity to finish what they wanted to say. 

To 'interrupt' means to halt the flow of a speaker or of a speaker’s utterance with a question or remark.  As children, most of us were taught to say 'please' and 'thank you,' not to chew with our mouth open, and not to interrupt others when they were talking. Sometimes we see more adults interrupting each other than we ever do children.  

The implication of an interruption is that the one interrupting feels they have something more important to share than does the one who is already speaking. It can be seen as selfish and disrespectful, which quickly shuts down any possibility for real communication. If we don’t respect what one person has to say, ultimately we are saying we don’t respect them enough to listen.  

Interrupting another person stops the flow of the message and prohibits the speaker from making their point. The speaker often loses his/her train of thought, while feeling his point was of little or no importance to the listener. Even if the speaker’s point is revisited later, the disrespect they feel lessens the effectiveness of the overall conversation. This can be any method of interruption — verbal, receiving a phone call or text, any method of interruption communicates a lack of respect. 

Many times people interrupt because they’re afraid that if they don’t say it right then, they might forget. They don’t mean for it to be disrespectful. If it is something that is important enough that you must remember, jot down a word or phrase to remind yourself of what you want to add when the other person is finished. This is especially helpful in meetings. The truth is, it is more important to be kind and show respect to others than it is to put in our two cents worth.  

Friends of mine have told me that the way they were raised, interrupting each other is just part of their 'culture.' They say, 'If we don’t interrupt, we’ll never get a word in edgewise. Because this is the way we communicate in our culture, nobody is offended.'
That works well only if everybody in the conversation is from the same culture and mindset. One of the most important priorities for good communication and healthy relationships (professionally and personally) is to ensure people feel that they and their opinion matter to us. 

If we keep practicing what we were taught as children, we’ll discover that basic manners and common courtesies win out.”

http://www.idahopress.com/business/show-value-to-others-listen-without-interrupting/article_5aa35e92-5db8-11e0-9b9e-001cc4c03286.html?mode=jqm

~Jeri Heintz